Some days I wonder if people knew him better they would hate him like I do. I see the stares they give me and hear the whispers behind my back and although I am strong the whispers and glares still cut like a knife. I used to be the one people flocked to like a moth to a flame now it's him and they have no idea what he is - the wolf in sheep's clothing. I don't pretend to be someone I am not and maybe that is why my flame went out or maybe it's all the years of putting a smile on my face while I was slowly dying inside. I can't help but feel so torn for those around us, they laugh and smile and all the while have no idea what is really happening.
I was so devastated the first time he cut me to the core and now I just roll my eyes and shake my head while I wonder how in the world I let myself get so tolerant of things. I want so badly to go back and get a do over but I wonder if I really would given the chance. I don't know if all this has made me stronger or bitter - maybe both. I can empathize in ways I never could before and it has changed my view of the world and people in general. The world has become such a sad place and it is so hard to find the beauty in it all and when I do see it I want to share it with someone who sees it the way I do - a little scared but still beautiful. I want someone to see me as beautiful - inner and outer scars, they are what make me who I am. Some days I am weak, others days I am strong but everyday I am fighting to make a difference somewhere to someone - whispers and glares be damned.
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