I think this time of year makes me think about things a little more than I normally do and I find myself paying more attention to the news and people in general. Awhile ago I had lunch with an old friend and I remember leaving the lunch feeling so full of life. I had such an inner peace that I had not felt in such a long time and I wished that feeling could last forever. I knew that we were not the same people we were all those years ago when we were remembering the "good old days" but it was so nice to feel like myself again. I wish I could repay my friend for giving me that "spark" back even for a few hours but I wouldn't even know where to begin - a Thank You just doesn't seem like enough....
In paying more attention to things I heard a few stories that hurt my heart yet in a strange way gave me comfort. There was a horrific accident in the next town that ended up becoming a murder investigation and my first thought, as horrible as it was, was how thankful I was that I knew I was not going to be getting the call that my uncle was involved in yet another mess. I was so sad to hear about the seemingly simple accident turning into a murder but the sense of relief was sadly overwhelming. My uncle fought so many demons at the end of his life and getting a phone call in the middle of the night saying he was involved in something this bizarre would not have surprised me.
I had also heard of a man taking his life at the Mormon Temple in Las Vegas - that one broke my heart. I hope he found peace in going to the temple grounds for the last time yet I feel for his family in knowing how hard is it to know ( or maybe not) that no matter how hard you try to save someone sometimes you lose that battle. I can only pray that that man found some comfort in taking his last breaths in the place he felt "safe".
Next month will be 2 years since my uncle took his life and it is slowly getting easier but I miss him everyday - just last week I saw a shirt and said out loud "my Uncle Rick would have loved this shirt...." Needless to say Erik looked at me like I was nuts :) I pray he has found peace and I think every now and then if I listen I hear him tell me he has.....
